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Dear Dr. Mike, I have a 9 1/2 year old nephew who has been pooping his
pants on occasion for about two years. I believe it has been more
frequent as of late, or perhaps I have been around when it has happened
these past few times. I will attempt to describe what I have experienced
with him in hopes you can provide some insight to our family.
My
nephew George is a sensitive and very obedient child, he has one brother
who is 5 years-old, both boys live with both parents. Although I have
been aware of the problem George has been experiencing after having
brief discussions with my sister in law, I was told George pooped his
pants because he was lazy and did not want to come in from playing. She
had taken away his favorite underwear in attempts to dicipline him for
soiling himself. I did not realize how serious the problem was until
George was at my home recently and he had had an accident.
George and his brother came over to play with my three sons ages 18
months, 7 1/2 years old and 9 years old. George was downstairs with my
sons and their uncle playing a video game. The uncle came upstairs and
said that George was smelling and that perhaps he had soiled himself. I
asked George to come upstaris (alone) and asked him if everything was
okay. He said yes that everything was fine. I asked him very calmly and
compassionatley in at least five different ways if he wanted to tell me
something. I explained that I thought (I knew by the smell) that maybe
he had had an accident and if he did, there was no problem I would help
him get cleaned up and certainly I would not be angry in the least. He
still denied that there was an issue. > > I asked him to come into the
bathroom, I explained I was not going to touch him but I wanted to make
sure he was okay and he needed to take his trousers off just to be
certain that he did not have an accident. ( Again with the smell there
was no doubt, I was attempting to spare his feelings.) Sure enough,
George had messed his pants quite badly. There was nothing unusual about
the consistantcy; no diarrea etc. I reassured him that there was no
problem just to take off the soiled underwear and he could hop into the
shower. I expalined that no one would have to know because his trousers
were spared, I was calm and loving throughout.George jumped into the
shower, changed and ran outside to play.
Shortly after (about a half hour later) I called the children in to have
lunch. As George walked in the house a strong odour was coming from
George again. I settled the others down to lunch and called George into
the hallway, asking again in many different ways if he was okay. It was
the same routine, he said he was fine that he did not have an accident
in his pants. When he checked, there was infact a mess in his pants.
George had another shower and since he had soiled his trousers I gave
him a pair of my sons trousers to wear. I again calmly reassured George
thati I was not mad and everything was okay.When George's dad came to
get him he asked why George had changed I said that George had an
accident.
I
wish I hadn't said that I felt like I had let George down. George's dad
was calm but displeased and told George that he was going to have to go
to the doctor because that was not a normal thing. George was crying and
obviously upset. > > Speaking with my sister in law after this happened,
she said she was going to take George to the doctor. It has been almost
two months and he still has not been to see a doctor.
George spent the night at my home this past week and it happened again,
where he had an accident in his pants. I know that it happened the week
earlier at home as well, his mother was understandably frusterated as it
happened outside the washroom. > > Having a nine year old myself I
cannot help but feel concerned for George. He is being diciplined for
the problem that appears to me he really has no control over. If there
is something you can offer so I can approach the family to try and help,
your help would be appreciated.
Kindly, Lori G
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